Mirror, Mirror..WHO ARE YOU???

If you are like me, that image in the mirror looks more like a stranger on the street than what your own mental image says you are!

Did you know that Barbie turns 50 years old in 2009….and if she is anything like the REAL US, I know there must be several new-“old” Barbie’s on the drawing board:
• Bifocul Barbie—blended lenses with 16 designer colors; neck chain included
• Hot flash Barbie- just watch her face turn red; tiny drops of
Perspiration appears under her nose. Personal fan and tissues included.
• Mid-Life Crisis Barbie—She’s outgrown Ken; comes with a personal trainer who’s abs just don’t quit; red sports car and a B&B reservation in Wine Country!
• Divorcee Barbie—She gets Ken’s car, Ken’s house and Ken’s boat
• Menopausal Barbie—poor Babs cries a lot, forgets where she put her car Keys, and wets if she sneezes or laughs too hard; come with Kleenex and Depends…
• Bunion Barbie—all those years on high heels have taken its toll; comes with pumice stone, portable foot spa; and terry slippers.


Well, perhaps you are not as old as I am, but no matter how old you are, you are not as young as you once were! You may be a wife, mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, business owner, care giver, bible study teacher, … I am most of those things, but in my HEART, I am still the same gal I have always been. You may notice the added pounds, the fuller face, the crows feet, the tired feet, but in my mind, I am just about 35. Of course, that gets harder to pull off when I know my oldest daughter is older than that, but if I focus real hard I see the good ole’ days much better than they ever were, and I have successfully forgotten the really bad stuff, like the hair-do’s, the bell bottoms and the platform heels! Have you noticed they tried to bring some of that back? It wasn’t great the first time!

Though my heart and mind demand I continue to do the things I know I can do, my body protests that kneeling hurts, and if I insist on doing it, I may be down there longer than expected. Skiing while exciting, thrilling and wonderful, quite frankly would be suicide; in fact, just sitting for too long means that upon standing, anyone close by may hear creaks and definitely a groan. I “sigh” much more than I remember doing in my younger years! When I go shopping and catch my reflection as I stroll up to my favorite store I am sure it is my own mother I see! Yes, there she is! Definitely beyond middle age, pear-shaped, hair flying, sun glasses askew! And who changed the inventory inside my store? There was a time when anything I picked up would please me, now someone has replaced all my favorites with miniature versions that, oh dear me, look like they are intended for the “ladies” that walk the street at night, not for Jake’s grandma…. Oh well, it was time to find another store anyway!

When did all those changes take place? Somewhere between making lunches, teaching women’s Bible study, running off to work to “find myself” and contribute to our income tax bracket, (about the time when my kids were either in high school or college); writing whenever I could; and speaking many weekends a month-- that’s when!

My roles changed, also. I was an empty nester, the mother of married daughters, then grandma, mother of a divorced daughter, business owner, partner to a retired husband, partner to an entrepreneurial husband; writer, speaker, friend. Roles changed and lifestyle changed and sometimes attitudes changed! Sometimes I felt unwanted, unneeded; other times I felt unappreciated and misunderstood, which led to tears; sometimes powerful (hormones were the culprit, I am sure, now). My own mother had died of breast cancer at 62 years of age, so I really missed being able to ask her if what I was feeling was “normal” or early signs of mental illness, senility or perhaps Alzheimer’s. As it turned out it was quite another change..change of life!

Some of my dear friends have had to learn to be a single person again, either because of divorce or because of the death of their mate. One of them told me upon the death of her beloved husband, “The spiritual investments we’ve made through the years have their greatest dividends when we suddenly face life alone. Am I close to God now? Am I serving God in ministry? Are my relationships with friends meaningful? Do I share Jesus with them as our foundation?” Good questions to ask ourselves, regardless of where we are at the moment!

I received an email recently from one of my “girlfriends” that basically said, “Don’t forget your girlfriends!” It was a story about a young woman who married, and her mother gave her that advice the week she was getting married. At the time she thought it strange. Later years showed the reason why. We always need another woman to be a friend, a sounding board, a confidant, whether or not our husbands live a long healthy life, or whether we are cast aside in divorce.

One of my fondest “girlfriend” moments was when two of my very ”best-est” friends and I met in London, England for two weeks of “girl time.” We “punted on the cam” (boated down the Cambridge River) with a “punter” directing us, and we saw all the cathedrals and colleges along the way! We sang do-wop and danced in my friend’s living room on the Isle of Man, and celebrated an early birthday of the other. We have great memories, and while we are separated now by 1500 miles, we call and email one another still. None of us will ever share those same memories with any other friend. They are ours. With other friends I’ve gone to retreats and conferences and had a ball, giggling late into the night like teenagers. These are wonderful things to ponder when we are apart! And a great reminder about what friends can be when we are looking for “new friends” when we’ve moved to a new place!

We can age like fine wine, or be a whiner! But, if we ask, why?” The answer has to be because that is what Life is! It changes, we change, things change! Get use to it! And get over it!

God says in Proverbs 16:31 “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it comes from leading a righteous life!” Personally, I will always cover mine up…blonde is what God intended for me, I am just sure! So where do we go from here?
Titus 2:3ff says, “Teach the older women (me?) to train younger ones to be
A) Reverent in the way they live
b) Not slanderers
c) Not addicted to much wine
d) To teach what is good
e) Love their husbands and children
f) Be self-controlled and pure
G) be busy at home
H) Kind
I) subject to their husbands, so none will malign the word of God.

Who are the younger ones? It could be your daughters or daughters-in-law. Or, perhaps your neighbor, your bible study partner, your friend, the gals who attend the study you go to, your small group at church, just about anyone! And the older we get, the larger that group becomes! So enjoy it!
It is God’s plan and it can’t be bad! Think of the effect we can have on those around us! We can mentor daughters, granddaughters, grandsons, friends, and just about anybody who is observant! “Children are an investment, grandchildren are the dividend!” Our influence on our grandkids is immeasurable. We stand in the gap for them…we usually have more Time, and more Money than their parents do at this stage, and we are one generation removed from the “disciplinarian” and gain the ear of the child. We are their ally. So, older? Yes. Wiser? Let’s pray so! How are we spending our time? We are either: Wasting it, Hoarding it, or Investing it!

If we are investing in the lives of others, we will always have purpose, a call on our life---whether it is an active helping involvement or the physically passive, but Spiritually active life of PRAYER for those around us…..

SO….Mirror, mirror on the wall….
NO matter what I THINK I SEE,
God has created me to be…
To carry out HIS PLAN and
To answer HIS CALL….
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Let HIS REFLECTION be evident to all!

*copyrighted 1999
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beauty of a Woman
This poem was written by the late educator-humorist Sam Levinson for his grandchild and read by Audrey Hepburn on Christmas Eve, 1992.


For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in
the clothes she wears,
the figure she carries,
or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman
must be seen from her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman
is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman
is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
the beauty of a woman
with passing years—only grows.