The String of Pearls

After my mother died in 1990, I was the heir to her things she left behind. Other than her wedding ring set, none were of great monetary value, but all were treasured in my heart. One that I deeply cherished was a string of pearls. Mom had worn them regularly to church and functions that took her outside our home, be it PTA or dinners in restaurants. No, she wasn’t June Cleaver of Leave It to Beaver fame, but she loved wearing them!

So, it was an experience of nostalgia every time I wore those pearls in the first days after she was gone. It was while I was wearing that necklace (the “oh honey, just wear a string of pearls and a smile and you will look terrific!” pearls) that it happened! They were well-worn and had become too frayed to hold together. One by one, they rolled across the floor in front of me!
There have been times in my life when I have felt like those undone string of pearls—frayed at the edges, about to lose adhesiveness emotionally; so hurt in my heart over circumstances or relationships that I feel like each facet of my being has rolled across the floor out of my reach and out of my power to control!

My mother’s death was one of those times I felt out of control; I lost her when she was only 62 years old from breast cancer. It is never the right time to lose a parent! There was so much we would miss together: my girls weddings, births of her great-grandsons, and just talking by phone daily. But more recently it has been a daughter who has made devastating choices and decisions that have affected each little pearl in her life (and ultimately, ours): her husband, her boys, her sister, her business, her home, her finances and certainly all of our emotions and hearts.

While we pray for a revival in her heart, we are not in control of it. While we can suggest a plan to help her, we cannot implement it. We can pray and trust the One who can! Only Jesus Christ can restring the pearls of our lives, we cannot. Only He can put us back together. And only Jesus can heal a mother and father’s heart.
*copyrighted 2006

My Focus Determines My Destination

Hebrews 11:8 tells us that Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out into a place which he should afterwards receive as an inheritance. He didn’t know where he was going, but he believed the God who was calling him. He leaned upon the Promiser, not just on the promises. He had unwavering confidence that true to God’s word, he would arrive safely.

What is my focus? Is it on the daily struggles or seeming trial I am going through, with little hope of being fixed? Or is my focus on the One who holds my future? The One who appoints my course? During the era of World War II, war ships from our coasts left the docks under sealed orders. No one knew for certain their destination ultimately. They sailed believing they had an appointment somewhere “out there” of great importance, which was awaiting them; perhaps to be heroes and face the enemy at sea, or be the support for others awaiting them to rescue them!

Our Spiritual lives are like that in a way. Standing on the shore, God calls us and we have answered his call, we have asked him into our heart. Now he will lead us and direct us. We may be of the opinion that WE have a plan for our lives and how it will go, but after we have set sail, we realize that HE has a plan for us; it may be entirely different than we had surmised it would be. In effect, we have set sail on our journey with God, under sealed orders. We know our Captain, but not the route. We must release our own plan, edit it, add to it, or perhaps even tear it up, and start from the beginning again. Sailing with God’s plan means trusting Him and resting in the fact that He can get us safely to our destination without our interference.

Lord, You aren’t done with any of us, yet! We are in the process of becoming what you’d have us to be. You designed us and the specific plan for our life. We can squirm, and struggle to avoid and escape the pressure or pain of the “process.” But when we realize, it is the very hand of God upon us to mold us and “finish and complete us” we must stop squirming and trust you to bring about your desired end. Often we just want to stop the discomfort, the difficult circumstance and the emotional pain that it can bring. Lord help me to endure with joy and expectation what you are working out in my life, even when it just looks dark and bleak. Help me to see your hand and be thankful; lead me to praise you every day, no matter what color the sky looks at that moment and wherever you lead me!

* copyrighted 2005

Finding Rest for our Souls~~

“This is what the Lord says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it, and you will find REST for your souls..’” Jer. 6:16

When we’re overburdened the world seems a colder place—the sun could be shining but from our vantage point (because we are so tunnel-visioned with our own problem) we never even notice! The birds may be singing, but all our ears hear is the tune of our own grief—our heart crying out our pains, weariness and sorrows.

When we are self-absorbed in our own dilemmas, it puts distance between ourselves and others, and between us and God. Oh he is still there, but the distance is one felt by us because we are not calling on Him, because we are too self-absorbed.

The weight of all our life’s concerns can become such a burden that it’s difficult to be at REST. It may be unmet expectations, finances, relationships, fear of the future—but calling out to us is the Voice of God with an invitation to REST in Him!

He wants us to trust Him to take care of us, to work on our behalf—to ask at our crossroads, “where is the good path?” and then to walk in it. If we do this, He will give us REST for our souls. “My soul finds REST in God alone!” Ps. 62:1

* copyrighted 2006

Have You Seen This Little Girl?

Fall 1991


Have you seen this little girl? No, she isn’t a run away. She is not a photo on the side of a milk carton, but she is missing. She lives here, occupies space here, does her laundry here and sometimes even eats a meal here, but this little girl is missing.

Where is the innocent little face that used to look up into mine and smile and say, “I love you, mommy.” Where is the little girl that hunted for Easter eggs and waited on the stairs to get her first glimpse of Santa’s visit? Where is the little girl who went happily to Sunday School and couldn’t wait to tell mommy what she’d learned? Where is the little girl who raised her hand to ask Jesus into her heart?

Have you seen this little girl? Now she seems to care less about what mom and dad say, because they are from a different generation or even a different time zone. This little girl, who used to believe in her mommy, now, thinks mom is out to ruin all her fun, her day, and her life. This little girl who used to love to have mommy help her clean her room, now hates mom to touch anything of hers. This little girl who would listen as mommy and daddy told her about strangers and dangers in this world, now seems to enjoy toying with things that bite, go bump in the night and potentially could hurt her.

Where is the little girl I nursed as a baby, the one I walked the floors with many a night when she was sick, the one I comforted through the fears of kindergarten and making new friends, the one I sat with for days on end when she was hospitalized. Where is the little girl I prayed for and taught Bible verses? This little girl is missing. Have you seen her? Where has she gone?

Someone seems to have taken her place, and she is missing. I search for her only to find someone else I don’t recognize. But I will keep on looking, I am almost without hope of ever finding her again, but I will keep on searching. If you see her, tell her I miss her and long to hold her in my arms and kiss her and love her.

Perhaps someday she will come home to me. Perhaps I will never see my little girl again… because she’s a teenager now and I am only her mom.

* copyrighted 1991